Friday, November 11, 2011

Home


Meditating. It is truly an art. I don’t know how many times I have attempted to quiet my mind and just meditate on a saying, word or thought. It is difficult to concentrate in a place constantly buzzing with noise and life. The main places that I have recently enjoyed meditating sound a little funny, but I will explain. I meditate on the roof of my hostel in the early morning and in auto rickshaws.
The roof of the hostel is a big open area with a few clothes lines for drying, partially covered in case of rain. Being up there alone makes me feel centered. I feel as if I am surveying the land I now belong to kind of like Simba in the Lion King, except I am not a ruler of the land. The land is my ruler in many ways, and this fact helps me to quiet my mind and accept being part of this place. The people of this land almost worship it with their devotion. Connecting to it is the only way I can truly honor my time in “God’s Own Country.” I sit with my thoughts, do yoga, and sometimes dance up there when I feel like it. It is sacred ground. Sometimes I am “being still” and acknowledging God’s presence, and sometimes I get so happy I am forced to move. I feel so at peace when I celebrate nature in this way.
My meditation in the auto rickshaw is kind of the opposite of my rooftop meditation practice. An auto rickshaw is public transportation, like a taxi. It consists of a motorcycle- type driving mechanism in the front area where the driver sits. Fondly referred to as an “auto,” the vehicle has three wheels and is generally covered in the front and back complete with a small windshield, but open on the sides. The back is normally a long, fairly comfortable bench type seat. On days when buses are pretty chaotic sometimes it is nice to take an auto. I also take one every Thursday to my classes at Pakil and CMS school. I have noticed that there is just something about wind in my face that makes me want to pray. Bouncing along in an auto with wind blowing in at all sides, horns honking, and the smells of the road assaulting my senses, I meditate. I practice quieting my mind amongst these hectic surroundings. As I breathe I feel more and more patient. I forget my control-freak ways and simply trust that the driver will get me where I need to go. In the auto I also use a prayer that I learned from my Vocational Discernment Journal. It is called the “Here I am” prayer. You start by simply taking in your surroundings and saying “here I am in ________.” In this case I would say “here I am in an auto rickshaw.” As you get used to your environment you change the saying to simply “here I am,” declaring your presence in the space. You can repeat that as many times as you need to feel secure in this announcement. The final part of the prayer is a really cool conclusion that never ceases to amaze me. As I sit in the back of an auto saying, “here I am in the presence of God,” I feel like a part of something big. It is great to realize that nothing is untouched by God, and it reminds me to stay focused on the fact that no matter what, I am never out of God’s presence.
I also have started saying something new as I ride along. Thursday I quietly whispered “this is my home.” It just kind of came naturally as I took the familiar road to Pakil school. It felt right and true. I declared it many times as I passed workers and homes and trees. The wind luckily carries my strange whispering away from the driver and into the atmosphere. Even if the breeze didn’t hide my voice I think I would still talk in the back of an auto. I am that crazy, crunchy, hippie girl talking to herself again. That is alright with me.
Later that day at CMS Upper Primary school, I talked freely with the English teacher about a gift of mine that I really miss using. Singing. Singing is honestly another form of meditation for me and without having a choir to belong to, I feel like a teammate without a team. Sunitha, the English teacher said on the spot that there were two teachers at CMS who belonged to local choirs. She introduced me to both of them and they said both choirs would have no problem helping me along with Manglish (Malayalam words translated to English letters for easy pronunciation) to learn the songs! I am so thankful for the opportunity to praise God through music. It is an exciting development that will make me feel even more at home here.

“The one thing in the world of value is the active soul.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

First Year students in the hostel, my home.

1 comment:

  1. This is a wonderful post Rachel! Meditation is one of the hardest things to do I believe, more so than any physical activity. And I found it beautiful how you can say out loud to the world that India is your home. Whenever I travel and stay in a different place for a time, one of the hardest things to do for me is to accept my reality of my new environment-the reality of my "home"- and just live in the moment. It makes my heart happy to hear that you've done this! It's never easy to do so, even if you have to wake up everyday and remind yourself, but it is always beautiful.

    Sending love from Mexico,

    Claire

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